Draft Feedback-Peers
To be able to improve my draft so that my final product looks professional, fits to magazine conventions and satisfies my audience I have asked members of my target audience to comment on my drafts. This feedback will show me what I need to keep including in my magazine and what I could consider changing.
Front Cover: The font you have decided to do your title in is great, it really allows it to stand out in comparison to the rest of your text. I also love the way you have decided to dress your models, it really shows who your target audience is. However, I'm not sure about the prop you have used within your photo- this may be possibly due to the fact that it is green and doesn't really go with anything else within this page. Perhaps, you could try editing the colour of this prop on Photoshop. The font you decided to do the rest of your text in suits the style of your magazine- but I do believe that it is simply too large if you compared it to a real magazine. I also like how the barcode is positioned down the side of your page as I think that this is very creative and follows a similar style to other magazines.
Contents Page: Again, I enjoy the style of text that you have used but it is my opinion that 'Bo's weekly column' should be in a larger and more styled font. Your photographs are really good, but you have squashed them slightly and I think they might look better if they were stretched a little. Your layout of your contents page as a whole sets the impression as a smart/casual magazine which is comforting for your target audience.
Double Page Spread: You have used mise-en-scene really well here as I can see you have colour co-ordinated the colour of you text to the colour of your models lipstick etc. and I do believe that this is very creative. Personally, I do like the way you have positioned your text and the size of it is readable. It shows the qualities of a real magazine which shows you have accomplished this task well. Maybe you could move the text up a little bit in order so that the text doesn't quite reach the bottom of the page and move your image of the two models slightly to the right more so that the image doesn't get affected when the page is folded.
Feedback from Amy Bradley (female), 16.
I am happy that my masthead font and styling of my artists is effective as I focused on these areas a lot while creating my draft. I am pleased that I have been able to stick to a smart sleek design as this is what I was aiming to achieve. Knowing that my mise en scene and color co-ordination works well on the double page spread is helpful as this was another key focus during the making of the draft. I can understand all the improvement comments completely and will definitely focus on improving my images, text size and following more magazine conventions.
Front Cover: Firstly, I really like this cover page as a whole as it looks very professional and looks like a real magazine product. The prop used makes the magazine unique and different and I can clearly see the styling fits in with your music genre which will attract your target audience. Saying that there is ‘more inside’ is a good technique as it will make the reader intrigued what the magazine is about. The only things I would suggest to change is swapping the image to a close up so they will make more of a lasting impact on the audience which would be very helpful for the publicity of that artist as they are a new duo. I would also make the image brighter as I feel it’s quite dark and by making it brighter, the artist name will stand out more and have a more contrasting effect.
Contents Page: I feel the contents page looks good and works with the style of your magazine and there are only a few minor adjustments you should change. I think you should have another artist combining "Double ii" together as I feel having a page number on two images and not on the other won’t make sense to the reader. It may be worth considering changing the image of ‘Bo’ (top image) as I don’t think it works with the overall look of your contents page. You also need to brighten the images to make them stand out and ensure they’ll all the same brightness level as I can see the top image is a lot brighter than the other two images. Apart from that, your contents page is really good and I like the use of pink and green coloured text as this technique is used a lot in magazines so it creates a more professional product.
Double Page Spread: This double page spread is really good and I think the image you have chosen and the article all work together really well. You may need to brighten the image to make it stand out and move it more to the right a bit as the artist is very close to the text almost overlapping it. I like the use of colours as it shows continuality from your cover page and contents page which is a nice feature in your magazine. It may be worth having your main heading as something other than the artist name as the reader will recognise the artist from the image as they were on your cover page, so another heading will encourage them to read the article. I would make the article have shorter blocks of text as personally that appears like a lot of reading for me so I would move on finding a shorter looking article. But overall it is a good double page spread and with a few adjustments it will look very appealing.
Feedback from Ceri Lewis (female), 17.
This feedback has been extremely helpful in showing me what I need to do to improve my draft and what I should keep within the magazine. I am happy that my magazine flows and links across the pages effectively, that the "more inside" is an engaging feature on the cover page, my colour scheme works well and that the picture for my double page spread is effective. I plan on keeping these features as they are satisfying my target audience. I have also learn't about a lot areas where I could improve, which is exactly what I want to know from audience feedback. The areas I need to focus on are: having less white and blank space on my cover page, improving my photos on my cover and contents page and having my double page spread follow magazine conventions more.
Front Cover: The font you have decided to do your title in is great, it really allows it to stand out in comparison to the rest of your text. I also love the way you have decided to dress your models, it really shows who your target audience is. However, I'm not sure about the prop you have used within your photo- this may be possibly due to the fact that it is green and doesn't really go with anything else within this page. Perhaps, you could try editing the colour of this prop on Photoshop. The font you decided to do the rest of your text in suits the style of your magazine- but I do believe that it is simply too large if you compared it to a real magazine. I also like how the barcode is positioned down the side of your page as I think that this is very creative and follows a similar style to other magazines.
Contents Page: Again, I enjoy the style of text that you have used but it is my opinion that 'Bo's weekly column' should be in a larger and more styled font. Your photographs are really good, but you have squashed them slightly and I think they might look better if they were stretched a little. Your layout of your contents page as a whole sets the impression as a smart/casual magazine which is comforting for your target audience.
Double Page Spread: You have used mise-en-scene really well here as I can see you have colour co-ordinated the colour of you text to the colour of your models lipstick etc. and I do believe that this is very creative. Personally, I do like the way you have positioned your text and the size of it is readable. It shows the qualities of a real magazine which shows you have accomplished this task well. Maybe you could move the text up a little bit in order so that the text doesn't quite reach the bottom of the page and move your image of the two models slightly to the right more so that the image doesn't get affected when the page is folded.
Feedback from Amy Bradley (female), 16.
I am happy that my masthead font and styling of my artists is effective as I focused on these areas a lot while creating my draft. I am pleased that I have been able to stick to a smart sleek design as this is what I was aiming to achieve. Knowing that my mise en scene and color co-ordination works well on the double page spread is helpful as this was another key focus during the making of the draft. I can understand all the improvement comments completely and will definitely focus on improving my images, text size and following more magazine conventions.
Front Cover: Firstly, I really like this cover page as a whole as it looks very professional and looks like a real magazine product. The prop used makes the magazine unique and different and I can clearly see the styling fits in with your music genre which will attract your target audience. Saying that there is ‘more inside’ is a good technique as it will make the reader intrigued what the magazine is about. The only things I would suggest to change is swapping the image to a close up so they will make more of a lasting impact on the audience which would be very helpful for the publicity of that artist as they are a new duo. I would also make the image brighter as I feel it’s quite dark and by making it brighter, the artist name will stand out more and have a more contrasting effect.
Contents Page: I feel the contents page looks good and works with the style of your magazine and there are only a few minor adjustments you should change. I think you should have another artist combining "Double ii" together as I feel having a page number on two images and not on the other won’t make sense to the reader. It may be worth considering changing the image of ‘Bo’ (top image) as I don’t think it works with the overall look of your contents page. You also need to brighten the images to make them stand out and ensure they’ll all the same brightness level as I can see the top image is a lot brighter than the other two images. Apart from that, your contents page is really good and I like the use of pink and green coloured text as this technique is used a lot in magazines so it creates a more professional product.
Double Page Spread: This double page spread is really good and I think the image you have chosen and the article all work together really well. You may need to brighten the image to make it stand out and move it more to the right a bit as the artist is very close to the text almost overlapping it. I like the use of colours as it shows continuality from your cover page and contents page which is a nice feature in your magazine. It may be worth having your main heading as something other than the artist name as the reader will recognise the artist from the image as they were on your cover page, so another heading will encourage them to read the article. I would make the article have shorter blocks of text as personally that appears like a lot of reading for me so I would move on finding a shorter looking article. But overall it is a good double page spread and with a few adjustments it will look very appealing.
Feedback from Ceri Lewis (female), 17.
This feedback has been extremely helpful in showing me what I need to do to improve my draft and what I should keep within the magazine. I am happy that my magazine flows and links across the pages effectively, that the "more inside" is an engaging feature on the cover page, my colour scheme works well and that the picture for my double page spread is effective. I plan on keeping these features as they are satisfying my target audience. I have also learn't about a lot areas where I could improve, which is exactly what I want to know from audience feedback. The areas I need to focus on are: having less white and blank space on my cover page, improving my photos on my cover and contents page and having my double page spread follow magazine conventions more.
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